Mom’s wisdom

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Wie die Familie für ein großes Abendessen zusammen gesammelt, der jüngste Sohn hatte eine Ankündigung zu machen: er hatte nur eine Armee recruiter's Büro unterschrieben.Gab es hörbare aufatmenden rund um den Tisch, dann einige lachen, wie seine älteren Brüder ihre Ungläubigkeit geteilt, dass er diese neue Situation bewältigen konnte.

"Oh, come on, beenden Sie ziehen unsere Beine," kicherte einer: "You didn ' t wirklich tun, tat Sie?"

"Ich bin sicher, dass Sie nie durch Grundausbildung erhalten würde", höhnte anderen.

Die neuen Rekruten suchte Hilfe; zu seiner Mutter, aber Sie war gerade Blick auf ihn.Wenn Sie schließlich sprach, war es, eine einzige Frage zu äußern: "Tun Sie wirklich eigenen Bett jeden Morgen vornehmen möchten?"

Dieser Eintrag wurde sämtlicher Dienstag, Juli 20th, 2010 at 11: 21-Amand unter militärischen jokes.You abgelegt ist alle Antworten auf diesen Eintrag durch den RSS 2.0 feed verfolgen können.Sie können ein Antwort, oder Trackback von Ihrer eigenen Website zu verlassen.»SUPER WEAPONI Want You» Lassen Sie eine Antwort

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Chastity belt

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Alle die guten Ritter waren für die Kreuzzüge verlassen. Ein Ritter sagte sein bester Freund "Meine Braut ist ohne Zweifel eine der schönsten Frauen der Welt. Es wäre eine schreckliche Verschwendung, wenn kein Mann ihr haben könnte.Daher, wie mein Freund besten und am meisten vertraut, ich lasse Sie den Schlüssel zu ihr um zu verwenden, sollte ich nicht wieder aus dem Kreuzzug. "

Das Unternehmen der Ritter waren nur eine Meile oder so aus der Stadt, als Sie bemerkt, eine Wolke aus Staub, die Annäherung an. Denken, es könnte sein, eine wichtige Botschaft von der Stadt wurde die Spalte angehalten. Eine Reiter näherte.Es war des Ritters bester Freund. Er sagte, "Hey, Sie die falsche Taste gab mir!"

Dieser Eintrag wurde Donnerstag, Juli 22, 2010 at 7: 53-Amand unter militärischen jokes.You abgelegt ist alle Antworten auf diesen Eintrag durch den RSS 2.0 feed verfolgen können sämtlicher.Sie können ein Antwort, oder Trackback von Ihrer eigenen Website zu verlassen.»I Want YouExtracts von der Military Verordnungen» lassen Sie eine Antwort

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Excerpts from the military regulations

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Roll if the room temperature of 27 degrees at night, the soldier has up his sleeve four times.

When the water level higher than 1,20 m begins the soldier without instructions with swimming Striche.Die commitment to the salute in this case is deleted.

Reaching the top of the tree which is soldier to stop, climbing without instructions.

«This entry was posted Thursday, July 22, 2010 is stored at 7: 24 Pmand under military jokes.You all responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed track sämtlicher.Sie can to leave a response, or trackback from your own site.»Let «Chastity BeltBRT» one

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NEW RANK?

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A timid private only voluntarily for the service in the army and aware, rank, had just in a new apartment moved, when the owner came to meet him.

"You need the new tenant?"

The private answered immediately, "Oh, no, Sir."I am only a private.

«This entry was all, Saturday, July 24th, 2010 at 7: 00 am-Amand is filed under military jokes.You, follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed traffic.you can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.»«BRTYou can a ' redneck Navy ', when "leave a reply

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You can create a ' redneck Navy ' if be

CategoriesSelect Categoryair Jokesarmy Jokescoast guard Jokeshistorical Anecdotemarine jokester military force Jokesnavy Jokesrussian army jokes sponsored LinksFrendly sites AR15 accessories army loan 25 Jul a ' redneck Navy ' if may

She may be a ' redneck Navy ', if the hood and a door a different color than the rest of your USMC are lobster.

You can create a ' redneck Navy ' if one of your relatives ever, made someone a mall parking lot.

You can create a ' redneck Navy ' be, if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids to sit on his lap.

You can create a ' redneck Navy ' If you think that female mud Rasslin ' should be an Olympic sport.

You can create a ' redneck Navy ', if your youngest sister your probation officer as a reference list.

You can create a ' redneck Navy ', disabling Motel 6 lights will be when you see you come.

You can create a ' redneck Navy ' be, if they ever were snake have to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

You can create a ' redneck Navy ' be when your birthday present of the septic tank was pumped.

You can create a ' redneck Navy ', if you see still cartoons, long after your kids bored.

You can create a ' redneck Navy ', if you think the French Riviera a foreign car is.

You can create a ' redneck Navy ', when her brother thinks he is business owners because of the character "Dirt for Sale" in his front yard.

You can create a ' redneck Navy ' if X-wife is still scalping tickets after the show is over.

Can a ' redneck Navy ', if you don't think Jeff Foxworthy's that or Jack Shiles jokes are funny.

You can create a ' redneck Navy ' be, if you throw a rope ladder, from your Marine Corp lobster.

You can create a ' redneck Navy ' be if home the tape to your pick ' em truck seat on the butt, sticks if you out.

You can create a ' redneck Navy ' If you think your wife and mother-in-law "double airbags" applies.

You can create a ' redneck Navy ' be if your high school dress code contains the line "Shoes optional".

You can create a ' redneck Navy ' be if your momma barnyard animals in your home life.

You can create a ' redneck Navy ' be if your pick ' em trucks has a sticker that reads "Gun control is a steady hand.";

Can one ' redneck Navy ', if ever a special loaded gun through the back door only for use on possums and Revenuers.

Can one ' redneck Navy ' if use no garbage service because it must be up near the mailbox and see not far enough through the trees to shoot the neighbors dogs, when to get into you.

You can create a ' redneck Navy ' be if Daddy only to the dump went when he had enough to populate the collection.

You can create a ' redneck Navy ' If you have more than 500 shot... ammunition .not including 22 caliber in your House.

You can create a ' redneck Navy ' If you have weapons in your House you can find.

«This entry was all Sunday, July 25th, 2010 at 6: 24-Amand under military jokes.You filed is all responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed track can you can to leave a response, or trackback from your own site.»NEW rank? leave an answer

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FIRST

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"I should see America," a GI said, if you ' wanted him ship overseas.

«This entry was posted 13 all Tuesday, July, 2010 is filed at 4: 46 Pmand under military jokes.You all responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed track can you can to leave a response, or trackback from your own site.»«PTA sign posted in an army of recruiter's Office» leave a reply

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A sign posted in an army of recruiter's Office

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TO ALL LADIES!

AN ARMY VETERAN TO MARRY!

HE CAN COOK!

HE CAN MAKE A BED!

HE CAN SEWING!

AND IT IS ALREADY USED TO TAKE ORDERS!

«This entry was 13 all Tuesday, July, 2010 on 9: 18 Pmand under military jokes.You all answers to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed track can you can to leave a response, or trackback from your own site.»Leave a reply to «FIRSTAirman Jones»

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Airman Jones

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bringt es auf seinem Kommandanten. Er beschwert sich, dass seine Sergeant völlig verrückt ist und Out to get him. Jones fügt hinzu, "Ich wäre überrascht, wenn Sergeant fragte mich in einen See zu springen." Der kommandierende Offizier sagt "Ich glaube nicht, das ist richtig, aber wenn es jemals passiert, Bericht direkt an mich."Feststellung des begeistert Ausdrucks auf die airman's Gesicht, er adds…

"Aber Sie lustig gut nass, wenn Sie mir melden."

Dieser Eintrag wurde Samstag, Juli 17, 2010 um 5: 04 Amand unter militärischen jokes.You abgelegt ist alle Antworten auf diesen Eintrag durch den RSS 2.0 feed verfolgen können sämtlicher.Sie können ein Antwort, oder Trackback von Ihrer eigenen Website zu verlassen.»Ein Sign Posted In eine Armee Recruiter's OfficeAfter am Tag der zermürbenden Manöver» lassen Sie eine Antwort

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After a day of grueling maneuver

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under the blazing sun of Texas, the platoon faced the barracks.""Remember all rights, women,"roared the drill instructor.""If you ten minutes alone, right now, could have with anyone in the world, who would be there?"

Amidst much murmur heard a voice from the back row."My recruiter."

«This entry was all Sunday, July 18th 2010 around 7: 28 Amand is filed under military jokes.You any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed track can you can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.»Leave a reply to «Plane JonesOfficers on work»

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Officers on work

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Lieutenant, major, and Colonel with the General in his quarters were one evening meal. The conversation turned to sex and the Lieutenant said make love your wife by 10% and 90% fun is. The major disagreement and stated that he believed love your wife make 40% and 60% fun. The Colonel said then that they both were wrong and that the relationship between 80% and 20% is fun. They decided to put the matter to a young Sergeant. "Well, Sir," he began, "I think they're all absolutely wrong." "It must be 100% fun.""" Why you say that?"asked the General.""Because"The young Sergeant answered"if it involved no work at all, you would assign a non-commissioned officers who do it for you."

«This entry was all Sunday, July 18th, 2010 at 8: 42 Amand is filed under military jokes.You any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed track can you can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.»«Leave» a response after a day of grueling ManeuversSUPER WEAPON

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SUPER WEAPON

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Eine militärische Erfinder vorgeschlagen, eine, die so viel Zerstörung den feindlichen Reihen als hundert Soldaten, bis an die Zähne bewaffnet produzieren könnte.Aber Studien gezeigt, dass es tausend Soldaten zu bedienen, es dauerte.

Dieser Eintrag wurde Montag, Juli 19, 2010 bei 1: 53 Amand unter militärischen jokes.You abgelegt ist alle Antworten auf diesen Eintrag durch den RSS 2.0 feed verfolgen können sämtlicher.Sie können ein Antwort, oder Trackback von Ihrer eigenen Website zu verlassen.»Offiziere auf der Arbeit Schreibe einen Kommentar

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Joke of the day - Christmas

A nice young man wanted to buy a Christmas
Gift for his new Geliebte.Da you very long had been dating,
After some careful consideration he decided that a few elegant winter gloves just the right tone - romantic but not to personally beat would.

Younger sister, accompanied by his favorite, he went to a
fine department store and chose a few beautiful white fur-lined gloves.Sister have their own shopping, buy a few slips for yourself.

While the writers envelope was the elements, got messed up, fields you gave the gloves, the sister and pushing the panties for the young man.

The young man sealed the package without realizing it and sent it to his lover who open it on Christmas to his find closed Note:

I chose this, because I found that you not in the habit to take everyone if we in the evening ausgehen.Wenn it for your sister been, I would long, selected buttons, but demonstrated who bears that are easier to remove the short.
The delicate shadows but the Lady are the I you of purchased
The couple showed me her wear for the last three weeks and were hardly verschmutzt.Ich had sell for me try, and saw very sharp.

I wish I was there, set first to you, to come as no doubt other hands with you in contact, before I take a chance again to sehen.Wenn you off remember to blow before they removed because you will be of course a little damp to take you.

Think how many times I will kiss you during the coming
Jahr.Ich hope that you will take you for me on Friday night.
All my love.

(P.S... is the current style, shows with a little fur be folded down roll.)

“““““

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Joke of the day - youngest son

Had gathered the family for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he signed only on the army Rekrutierer how
Office. There were audible aufatmenden around the table, then some laugh as his older brothers shared their disbelief, that he could handle this new situation. "Oh, come on, stop joking," a chuckling. "Not really do that, did you?" "You would never get through basic training," scoffed others.Help his mother was looking for new recruits, but just look was ihn.Wenn you finally spoke at you simply asked: "do really planning your own bed every morning do?",

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Joke of the day - anyone here

Once there was a female brain cell that happened by mistake in the head of a man to the end.

Looked around nervous, but everything was empty and quiet.

"Hello?" she cried but no answer.

"There is someone here?" called you a little louder, but still no response.

Now female brain cell started to feel alone and frightened and again shouted:

"HELLO, THERE IS NO ONE HERE!?"

Then a voice heard away far, far:

"Hello! we are down here..."

“““““

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Joke of the day - lawyer's contribution

A goodwill Office realized that your organization never a donation had received most successful attorney of the city. Manager of financial contributions from the lawyer telephoned in an attempt to work to convince him.

"Sir, our findings show that while making an annual income of more than 500,000 dollars for charity have donated you not would like back to give you our community?"

The lawyer thought this over a little and finally replied: "well, have your research also show that my mother die after a long illness with medical bills add up to several times their annual income?"Set, the goodwill Manager murmured, "To no Sir... but..."

Cut goodwill Rep that interrupts the lawyer, "or, my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and narrow to a wheelchair?"The embarassed goodwill began Rep out an apology to stutter, but was interrupted again.”

"Or that my sister man in a car accident died" the lawyer's voice rises in outrage, "leave penniless with three children?"

"Representative who humiliated, completely defeated, simple sighed, «I had no idea...» I am sor..."

On a roll, cut off the lawyer him again, "so if I no money to you do not why I should be all you?"

“““““

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Joke of the day - burning building

There was a burning building with one above redhead, a brunette and a blonde. Firefighters are screaming, jumping to the redhead in a blanket and jumps off the building and right, as it was over, safely to the ceiling you beat it moved and she died. Scream to jump the brunette, but she says: "No I saw what you did, the red-haired"! You scream we don't like redheads! The brunette jumps and safely move enough, the ceiling and she died. Then you shout to the blonde to jump into the ceiling. But the blonde says, "no I saw, what did you do to you! We shout like you! The blonde then says, "I not trust guys, setting the ceiling to the floor and step back!"

“““““

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Joke of the day - four-year old

The child was a typical four-year old girl - cute, inquisitive and bright as a new penny. If expressed difficulties in grasping the concept of marriage, decided her father, his wedding photo album out think Visual images would help. He dismissed a page after the other, the bride, the arrival of the Church, "Now you understand?" he asked the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the depth, reception, etc. "I think so," she said. "Was that as Mommy, came to work for us?"

“““““

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Joke of the day - drill sergeant

One of my husband's obligations as a beginner drill instructor at Fort Jackson, s.c., was to escort new recruits at the fair. After all it had made the CHOW line he sat down and said: "there are three rules in this exhibition: shut up!" Eat! "Get up!" Verify that he had everyone's attention, he asked "What is the first rule?" Much unison private to the fun of other teachers, 60 screamed "Shut up, Drill Sergeant!"

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Joke of the day - control

There were three guys talk in the pub. Two of you are talking about the height of the control you, have their wives while the third stay calm.

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says: "Well, what about you, what do kind of control about your wife did you?"

The third guy says, "I'll tell you.""The other night my wife came on your hands and knees."

"The first two guys were amazed.""" What happens then?"they asked.""You said: ' out from under the bed and as a man fighting '."

“““““

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Joke of the day - divorce lawyer of judgement day

Chicago area divorce lawyer died and found its way to the gate of heaven. Saint Peter asks him, "What did you do merit entrance into heaven?" The lawyer thought a moment and replied, "Last month I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street." Peter asked Gabriel check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel confirmed that this was indeed true.

Saint Peter said: "well, that's fine, but that alone is just not enough to keep you in the sky." The lawyer quickly Avenged "Wait Wait!", There's more!"Four years ago I have an another homeless person a quarter."Saint Peter Gabriel, nodded back nodded after a moment, confirming this had been to checked.

Saint Peter, whispered, insecure, Gabriel, "well, what we suggest you with this guy to do?"The lawyer was Gabriel sidelong glance, then St. Peter said,

"Let's him back his 50 cent and tell him go to hell."

“““““

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Who is joke of the day - in the trees?

A redhead, a brunette and a blonde were chased by the police and their dogs in a wilderness. She got tired running so you one climbed tree.
The police dogs came and started with the brunette on it on a tree bark. The brunette called "OOo OOO" police said, it is only a dove up there. The dogs barked on a tree with the redhead on it. The red-haired called "HOOO HOOO" police said, an OWL up there.The dogs came to the tree with the blonde on es.Die blonde called "MOOO MOOO".

“““““

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Joke of the day - wedding ring

A young bride and groom to be, the wedding ring had selected. As the girls admired the plain Platinum and diamond band, she looked suddenly concerned. Is "I say the older seller"Asked"it something special, I'll have to do to this ring take care?" With a paternal smile the seller said "one of the best ways is to protect a wedding ring it diving in water three times on the day."
“““““

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Joke of the day - blonde

A blonde and a brunette riding along in a convertible. The brunette knows that acceleration is you so blonde, asks if it is a COP behind you. The blonde looks behind her and sees a policeman and tells the brunette. The brunette asks if its has its lights it. The blond answers "Yes... No.... Yes... No.... Yes... No."

“““““

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Joke of the day - businessman on his deathbed

A businessman on the deathbed called his friend and said: "Bill, I want you to promise that if I you die my remains to have burned." Do "and what" asked his friend "with your ashes to do me?"

"The businessman said," just insert into an envelope and send you to the internal revenue service and write on the envelope, "now you have everything."

“““““

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Free funny knock knock jokes

Posted in funny jokes, knock knock jokes

Knock knock.
Who is there?
Boo.
Boo who?
I have not WAN ' t to make wines.

Knock knock!
Who is there?
Yo momma.
Yo momma, who?
Seriously, it's yo momma, the damn door!

Knock knock!
Who is there?
Mary Lee.
Mary Lee, the?
Mary Lee we together roles.

Knock knock!
Who is there?
Chimney.
Chimney who?
Chimney cricket! have seen Pinocchio?

Knock knock!
Who is there?
Woman!
Woman who?
Woman foot inside the door!

Average rating: 3.5

Comment: in a large collection later come first von.Weitere knocking.

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I want a lawyer joke to be

Four days later, the old man got his degree in law. His lawyer was at his bedside, ensure that its account would be paid. Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing and it was clear that this would be the end. Still curious, the lawyer leaned and said,

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80-Pounder

Posted in wirklich komische Witze

Hörten Sie über den 120-Pfund-Kerl mit den 60-Pfund-Hoden?

Leute sagen, er war halb-Nüsse!

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In Verbindung stehende Pfosten auf komische Rabbit Witze

Kaninchen 1 A Joke Bumble Bee war ein Kaninchen jagen.Schließlich wird die Biene drehte sich um und flog weg.Warum?Die Kaninchen hatte bereits zwei Verstärkern.Kaninchen Joke 2 Baby Hase: Mama, wo...

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24 Elevator Jokes

Angeschlagen in komischen Witzen

Aufzug Joke 1.
Grimasse schmerzlich während schmatzen Ihre Stirn und murmelte: "Shut up, verdammt, Sie alle nur shut UP!"

Aufzug Joke 2.
Pfeifen Sie unaufhörlich die ersten sieben Noten des "Es ist eine kleine Welt".

Aufzug Joke 3.
Knacken öffnen Ihrer Tasche oder Geldbörse, und während peering innerhalb zu Fragen: "Haben Sie genug Luft drin?"

Aufzug Joke 4.
Bieten Sie namens-Tags zu jeder immer auf den Aufzug.Tragen Sie Ihren Kopf.

Aufzug Joke 5.
Stehen Sie still und unbeweglich in der Ecke, mit Blick auf die Wand, ohne aussteigen.

Aufzug Joke 6.
Bei der Ankunft auf Ihren Boden, Grunzen und Belastung zu reißen die Türen öffnen, und klicken Sie dann Akt verlegen, wenn Sie selbst öffnen.

Aufzug Joke 7.
Begrüßen Sie jeder immer auf den Aufzug mit einem warmen Händedruck, und bitten Sie Sie aufrufen, Admiral.

Aufzug Joke 8.
Klicken Sie auf der obersten Etage halten die Tür öffnen, und Nachfrage, die es geöffnet bleiben, bis Sie hören Sie hinunter die Welle gelöscht Penny unten gehen "plink".

Aufzug Joke 9.
Starren, grinsend, bei einem anderen Passagier für eine Weile, und dann verkündet: "Ich habe neue Socken auf!"

Aufzug Joke 10.
Wenn mindestens 8 Personen an Bord haben, stöhnen von der Rückseite: "Oh, Nein, nicht jetzt, verdammt Reisekrankheit!"

Aufzug Joke 11.
Miauen Sie gelegentlich.

Aufzug Joke 12.
Brüllen Sie "Rutschen!" entfernt, wenn der Aufzug steigt.

Aufzug Joke 13.
Gehen Sie auf mit einem Kühler, der "human Head" auf der Seite sagt.

Aufzug Joke 14.
Anstarren eines anderen Fluggastes für eine Weile, dann verkünden "Du bist einer von Ihnen!" und bewegen Sie auf die Ecke des Aufzugs.

Aufzug Joke 15.
Tragen Sie eine Marionette auf Ihrer Hand und sprechen Sie mit anderen Passagieren "durch" es.

Aufzug Joke 16.
Wenn der Aufzug schweigt, schauen Sie sich um und Fragen Sie, "das ist Ihre Beeper?"

Aufzug Joke 17.
Sagen Sie "Ding!", auf jeder Etage.

Aufzug Joke 18.
Sagen "Ich frage mich, was zu tun, all diese" und drücken Sie die roten Schaltflächen.

Aufzug Joke 19.
Hören Sie den Aufzug Mauern mit einem Stethoskop.

Aufzug Joke 20.
Zeichnen Sie einen kleiner Platz auf dem Boden mit Kreide und verkünden Sie den anderen Passagieren, dass dies Ihre "persönlicher Raum".

Aufzug Joke 21.
Dämonische Stimme verkünden: "Ich muss einen geeigneteren Host-Körper finden."

Aufzug Joke 22.
Explosion Geräusche zu machen, wenn jemand eine Taste drückt.

Aufzug Joke 23.
Tragen Sie "X-ray Spezifikationen" und suggestiv auf andere Passagiere leer.

Aufzug Joke 24.
Auf jeder Etage zu stoppen, laufen aus dem Aufzug, dann führen Sie wieder auf.

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