Coast Guard Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all through each State;

Families began to celebrate Coast Guard.

Only House came an urgent call from the White

A crisis had sprung up, would be one and all to influence.

In fact, the State Department was frantic,

For Santa Claus had landed in the Atlantic Ocean!

It was foggy as always; Rudolph had made a mistake.

Santa, sledges and eight reindeer perished.

But the stockings were hung by the chimneys with care.

Poor Santa chuckled that "I will never there."

When what wondering eyes to show to his;

But some Coast Guard cutter with its rescue gear!

The officers and crew were so vivid and fast;

Sure was a lucky break for good OLE Saint Nick.

With a nod from the master. They went to work properly.

Was embarrassed, he felt like an idiot.

Poor Santa was humid but how anyone could see

He was very grateful that the U.S.C.G!

And we heard him exclaim how dragged him out of sight,

"If it were not for age and weight, I tonight enter!"

CHRISTOPHER K. RINGLE

Colonel, United States

OIC, special services

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Joke of the day Twas the night after Christmas

' Twas night after Christmas and all through the trailer gone flat beer and pizza was staler. The pipe hanging socks, blank, no candy or toys, and I was on my old lay-Z-Boy camped.

Christmas present
The children were not you talk, me or my wife said worst Christmas, you would have had in their lives. My wife could not argue, and neither I could so I saw TV and my wife, she screamed only.

In the courtyard the dog barkin' started, I got up and saw I saw Sheriff Larkin. He cried, "I'm sworn to comply with the laws Roy and I have a complaint from one named Claus Feller."

I said "Claus, I don't know, not is no one named Claus, and you take me without probable cause." Then the Sheriff "The man was shot dead last night." he said, I said: "that would have me, exactly what he sees how."

The Sheriff replied "a jolly old Feller with a big belly beer belly, is he who shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly." "He sports a long beard and a nose like a cherry." I said "Sheriff, that sounds like my wife sister Sherri."

"There is no time for jokes Roy" the Sheriff, he said. "The man, the I in describe all in red dressed." I'm here for the truth now, it's time to come clean. "Tell me what you did, tell me what you have seen."

Well I started to lie, then what thought the hell it was not the first time that I spent new years in prison. I said "sheriff it happened yesterday evening about ten and I thought that my wife had drunk again."

If you in went from work she was white as a ghost. I thought, maybe a UFO had seen you. But said that a bunch of deer had flown over the head and red on the roof of our good neighbor stopped.

Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shudder, a freezer full of game standing directly on Red's gutter. My hands were good a shakin ', as I grabbed my pistol if outta's Red chimney ran this Feller.

And posted his back was this bag over flowin'. I thought he stole's red stuff, while old red from bowling'. So I yelled "Drop fat boy, hands in the air!" But he went about his business, as he had no care.

So I popped up a warning about his head shot. Also he left pocket and he jumped in the slide. And when he flew way I heard to blackmail him, "this is attack with intent Roy, I'll see ya in court."

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Was the night before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the sky,

Fliegerabwehr were with electronic eyes.

Combat pilots were embedded in ready room, beds,

Danced like enemy silhouettes in their minds.

Each Jet on the apron, each SAM in its tube

Was Triple redundant with blue cube linked;

And ELINT and AWACS was reporting so close

That nothing flew could slip through our defense.

If from the Horn arose such a clatter

I see dashed line on the screen, what was wrong.

I chose the strengthening and then quickly as a Flash

Fine-adjust the filters from the hash damping.

And it found the source of the alert we had noticed:

An incoming blip preceded by eight escorts.

the word "red alert status!" went down the wire.

As we each system the code that was meant "FIRE"!

On aegis! Patriot, Phalanx and Hawk!

And our fighter scramble - can send us the whole flock!

Start bait and rockets! Use chaff, through the yard!

The sink to get up! Call the National Guard!

She turned towards the goal, moved towards him, convergent.

All finally merged to the tracks on the radar;

And the sky was lit with a demonic light

As the enemy pieces in the High Arctic night was.

So we sent out to look for some Recon debris,

Still found all that you both on land and at sea;

Were some toys, a Red Hat, a charred left leather boot,

Broken Sleighbells, some gloves and a crack parachute.

Now, it's not quite Christmas, shot with Saint Nick.

There are unfortunate children in every village and town.

The spirit of Christmas can even hope to escape

All on the Web of the defence we made carefully?

Look like the gadgets we use to protect us

Otherwise change involving transform and us.

You can keep us from the things more to make the life worth living

Give the just like love for each other, and thoughts.

But on a crash program: day and night, work hard

The Elves are a radar proof slides construct.

So let us wait until next Christmas, in cheer and health;

And good boys and girls, how does Santa STEALTH

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CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS GIFTS: SHORTY VERY BOOKS FOR MILITARY READER

McNamara on victory of historian and scholar Arthur Schlesinger, Jr..

His sacred honor of James Carville

The lies, the lead by Paul Begala and Rahm Emanuel

My favorite military leaders by Dee Dee Myers

Vertical envelopment: Aerial assaults by the Vietcong

Cooking with Chef Paul: gourmet recipes for MRE's

Brain teaser for Marines

The United States Navy on infantry

Diplomacy in the Iraq: a guide for the scattered troops

Carrier landings and the B-1

Abseiling for sailors

Viet Nam golf courses

General GIAP: on armor

General George Smith Patton: manners and courtesy

French victory from 1940

Unopposed landing in the Pacific: 1942-1945

Field marshal Goring on diet and exercise

Goebells: His comedies

Tojo: Collected letters and poems

Mussolini: 1000 year alliances for Europe

Stalin: Ethics and principles of Greek culture

Viet Nam hospital guided tour * Jane Fonda by Barbara Streisand. VA Hospital tours of Jane Fonda Alec Baldwin

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Military joke was the night before Christmas

Vintage Tin walking Penguin stupid prank gift

' Twas the night before Christmas and all through the sky,
Air defences were with electronic eyes.
Combat pilots were embedded in ready room, beds,
Danced like enemy silhouettes in their minds.

Each Jet on the apron, each SAM in its tube
Was associated with blue cube, Triple-redundant
And ELINT and AWACS was reporting so close
That nothing flew could slip through our defense.

If from the Horn arose such a clatter
I see dashed line on the screen, what was wrong.
I got the win and then quickly like lightning,
Fine-adjust the filters from the hash damping.

And it found the source of the alert we had noticed:
An incoming blip preceded by eight escorts.
the word "red alert status!" went down the wire.
As we each system gave the codes, the meant "FIRE!"

On aegis! Patriot, Phalanx and Hawk!
And scramble, that our fighters-let's send the whole flock!
Start bait and rockets! use chaff, through the yard!
The sink to get up! call the National Guard!

She turned towards the goal, moved towards him, convergent.
All finally merged to the tracks on the radar;
And the sky was lit with a demonic light
How the enemy night met his fate in the High Arctic.

So we sent out to look for some Recon debris,
All, what you found, both on land and at sea
Were some toys, a Red Hat, a charred left leather boot,
Broken Sleigh bells, white hair and a deer's parachute.

Now, it's not quite Christmas, shot with Saint Nick.
There are unfortunate children in every village and town.
For the spirit of Christmas cannot hope to escape
All the Web of the defensive measures that we have made carefully.

But on a crash program: day and night, work hard
The Elves are a radar proof slides construct.
So let us wait until next Christmas, in cheer and health;
Has hope for the future: Stealth Santa arrives!

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Joke of the day - Christmas

A nice young man wanted to buy a Christmas
Gift for his new Geliebte.Da you very long had been dating,
After some careful consideration he decided that a few elegant winter gloves just the right tone - romantic but not to personally beat would.

Younger sister, accompanied by his favorite, he went to a
fine department store and chose a few beautiful white fur-lined gloves.Sister have their own shopping, buy a few slips for yourself.

While the writers envelope was the elements, got messed up, fields you gave the gloves, the sister and pushing the panties for the young man.

The young man sealed the package without realizing it and sent it to his lover who open it on Christmas to his find closed Note:

I chose this, because I found that you not in the habit to take everyone if we in the evening ausgehen.Wenn it for your sister been, I would long, selected buttons, but demonstrated who bears that are easier to remove the short.
The delicate shadows but the Lady are the I you of purchased
The couple showed me her wear for the last three weeks and were hardly verschmutzt.Ich had sell for me try, and saw very sharp.

I wish I was there, set first to you, to come as no doubt other hands with you in contact, before I take a chance again to sehen.Wenn you off remember to blow before they removed because you will be of course a little damp to take you.

Think how many times I will kiss you during the coming
Jahr.Ich hope that you will take you for me on Friday night.
All my love.

(P.S... is the current style, shows with a little fur be folded down roll.)

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Christmas Thank You Notes Joke

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