Saturday, June 26, 2010

Yo Mama Jokes

Posted in Funny Jokes,

1
Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said “Moving.”

2
Yo mama so poor she can’t afford to pay attention!

3
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,”DING!”

4
Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

5
Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, “What ya doin ?” She said, “Buying luggage.”

6
Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

7
Yo mama so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.

8
Yo mama so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.

9
Yo mama so bald even a wig wouldn’t help!

10
Yo mama so bald you can see whats on her mind

11
Yo mama so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed.

12
Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!

13
Yo mama so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.

14
Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

15
Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

16
Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

17
Yo mama so short she poses for trophies!

18
Yo mama so short she poses for trophies!

19
Yo mama so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.

20
Yo mama so short she can play handball on the curb.

21
Yo mama so short she does backflips under the bed.

22
Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said “Sorry, no professionals.”

23
Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said “What a treasure!” and her father said “Yes, let’s go bury it.”

24
Yo mama so ugly they didn’t give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

25
Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

26
Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

27
Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras

28
Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

29
Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say “Wow, is it Halloween already?”

30
Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say “Wow, is it Halloween already?”

31
Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.

32
Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!

33
Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

34
Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won’t talk to her!

35
Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

36
Yo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

37
Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life

38
Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye.

39
Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.

40
Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!

41
Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

42
Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

43
Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it.

44
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

45
Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.

46
Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

47
Yo mama head so big she has to step into her shirts.

48
Yo mama head so big it shows up on radar.

49
Yo mama teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!

50
Yo mama’s glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.

51
Yo mama’s glasses are so thick she can see into the future.

52
Yo mama house so small that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it.

53
Yo mama house so small you have to go outside to change your mind.

54
Yo mama nose so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat!

55
Yo mama nose so big that her neck broke from the weight!

56
Yo mama hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches.

57
Yo mama feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates!

58
Yo mama so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone.

59
Yo mama cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.

60
Yo mama is missing a finger and can’t count past nine.

61
Yo mama middle name is Rambo.

62
Yo mama rouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn’t even serve Happy Meals.

63
Yo mama mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound.

64
Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio

65
Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared.

66
Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.

67
Yo mama so lazy she’s got a remote control just to operate her remote!

68
Yo mama so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon.

69
Yo mama head so small she use a tea-bag as a pillow.

70
Yo mama head so small that she got her ear pierced and died.

71
Yo mama in a wheelchair and says, “You ain’t gonna puch me round no more.”

72
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

73
Yo mama so fat her nickname is “Lardo”

74
Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

75
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

76
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

77
Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world

78
Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy

79
Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!

80
Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says “okay!”

81
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said “Taxi!”

82
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

83
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th

84
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

85
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear “Caution! Wide Turn”

86
Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read “one at a time, please”

87
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don’t do livestock.

88
Yo mama so fat she’s got her own area code!

89
Yo mama so fat she looks like she’s smuggling a Volkswagon!

90
Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

91
Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

92
Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago

93
Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!

94
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

95
Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

96
Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

97
Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!

98
Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

99
Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

100
Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

101
Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

102
Yo momma so bald head she put a weave cap on and it weave her cull

103
Yo mamma is so fat, her husband has to stand up in bed each morning to see if it’s daylight.

104
yo mama is so stupid when she asked me what kind of jeans am i wearing i said Guess and she said Levis.

105
Yo Mama soooo old she was wearing a Jesus starter jacket!

106
Yo mama is so old that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics!!

107
Yo mamas so fat she walked in front of the tv and I missed 3 commercials.

108
Yo mama so poor I stepped in her house and I was in the backyard.

109
Yo mama is so hairy, that Bigfoot tried to take her picture!

110
Yo mamma so stupid she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to turn green.

111
Yo mama’s so fat when she takes a bath she fills the tub then turns on the water.

112
Yo mama so fat she wears a vcr as a beeper.

113
Yo mamma is so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumping from the basement window.

114
Yo moma so fat she jumped off the Grand Canon and got stuck

115
yo mama so stupid she worked at an m&m factory and threw out all the W s.

116
Yo mama is so fat that when she went bunggie jumping in a yellow dress, everyone was screaming the suns falling!

117
Yo mama is so poor when her friend came over to use the bathroom she said ok, choose a corner.

118
Yo mama’s so fat, when she was in school she sat next to everybody!

119
Yo Mama is so fat…when she took her shirt off at the strip club,everyone thought she was Jabba The Hut from Star Wars

120
Yo mama is so fat…that she makes Godzilla look like an action figure

121
Yo mama is so fat…that when she wore a blue and green sweater,everyone thought she was Planet Earth

122
Yo mama is so fat…that she broke a branch in her family tree!

123
Your momma is so fat that her measurements are 26-34-28, and her other arm is just as big!

124
your mama so fat she was going to walmart tripped over kmart and landed right on target!!!

125
Yo Mama’s so fat she uses an air balloon for parachute.

126
Yo mama’s like the sun you look at her to long you will go blind!

127
Yo mamas so fat it took me a bus and two trains just to get on her good side.

128
Yo mama is so stupid she sold her car for gas money.

129
Yo Mama is so fat, she had to be baptized at Sea world. (Lionheartyz)

130
Yo Mama So Fat she sat on a rainbow and made skittles.

131
Yo Momma is so ugly that she scares blind people!!!!

132
Your mamas so skinny she swallowed a meatball n thought she was pregnant.

133
your mama’s so fat the government forced her to wear tailights and blinkers so no one else would get hurt

134
yo mama is so fat you could use her belly button as a wishing well…

135
Yo mama so fat she uses the interstate as a slip and slide.

136
Yo mama is so ugly the government moved halloween to her birthday.

137
yo mama so fat that when she puts on her yellow rain coat and walks down the street people shout out cab!

138
Yo mamma is so fat when a bus hit her she said who threw the pebble.

139
ur mama is sooo fat, she sat on a dollar and made 4 quarters pop out.

140
UR MOMA IS SO HAIRY THAT HARRY POTTER GOT JEALOUS.

141
YO momma so fat that they had to install speed bumps at all you can eat buffet

142
yo mama so fat she has seat belts on the chairs to keep her fat from rolling off!!!!!!!!!

143
YO MAMA IS SO FAT WHEN YOU GO AROUND HER YOU GET LOST!

144
Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

145
Yo mama so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

146
yo mama so stupid..she sits on the t.v and watches the couch

147
YO MAMAS SO FAT WHEN SHE WEARS A RED DRESS ALL THE KIDS SCREAM LOOK ITS THE KOOLAID MAN y

148
Yo Mama’s so fat that while she’s sits on the beach, the lifeguard comes up to her to say, “Excuse me mame, but the tide wants to come in.”

149
Yo Mama’s so fat that when she sits on the beach, whales swim up to her and sing “We are family…!”

150
You mama’s so skinny ….she can hang glide with a dorito!

151
Your so poor, I stepped in your house and stepped on a cigarette, and your mom said, “Who turned of the lights”.

152
Yo Mama so fat, she’s gotta wake up in sections

153
Yo momma so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.

154
Yo Mama’s so stupid,she got locked in a “Furniture World” and slept on the floor.

155
Yo mama so fat she has more chins than a chinese phone book

156
Yo Mama so dumb she put lipstick on her fore-head to make up her mind.

157
Yo Mamas teeth are so yellow I can’t believe it’s not butter.

158
Yo Mamas so stupid she got lost in a telephone booth.

159
YO MAMAS SO POOR I SEE HER KICKING A CAN DOWN THE ROAD, I SAID “WHAT YAR DOING ” SHE SAID “MOVING” !!!

160
Yo mama so fat when God said, “Let there be light” he he to ask her to move out of the way.

161
yo mommas so poor the roaches pay the light bill!

162
YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET

163
Yo Mama so fat, she rolled out of bed and everybody thought there was an earthquake.

164
YO MAMA SO STUPID WHEN THEY SAID THAT IT IS CHILLY OUTSIDE,SHE WENT OUTSIDE WITH A BOWL AND A SPOON.

165
your mamas feet are so scaly you can see crocodile dundy in her foot bath.

166
your momma so stupid she got locked in a groceiry store and starved.

167
Yo mama’s so fat, when she goes to Taco Bell, they run for the border !!

168
Yo mama has so many chins, it looks like she’s wearing a fat necklace !!

169
yo mama’s o fat she supplies 99% of British gas.

170
Yo Momma so black when she goes swimming poeple thinks shes and oil spill.

171
yo mama is so fat, she can sit on a t3 cable and make the internet traffic slow right down to 1 bit per day.

172
Yo Mama’s so fat she sank the Titanic!

173
Yo mama’s so stupid that she burned down the house with a CD burner.

174
Yo mama’s house is so small you have to go outside to change your mind.

175
Yo mama’s so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.

176
Yo mama’s so stupid she can’t pass a blood test.

177
Yo mama’s so fat, when she turns around they throw her a welcome back party.

178
Yo mamma’s so fat she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones.

179
Yo mamma’s so fat she had her ears pierced by harpoon.

180
yo mama so nasty… cows with mad cow disease run from her..

181
Yo moma is so old she knew the Great Wall of China when it was just ok

182
Your Momma’s so black she got counted absent at night school.

183
your mama so fat that when she wanted a water bed, they had to put a cover over the Atlantica Ocean.

184
yo mama so fat, when she dive into the ocean, there is a tsunami warning out!!

185
yo mama so fat she sat on a tractor and made it a pick-up truck.

186
yo mama so fat when she get on da elevator it says next stop hell

187
yo momma so fat the back of her neck is like a pack of hot dogs

188
yo mamma so fat she make a whale look bulimic

189
yo mama aint got no ears hollin bout let me hear both sides of da story!

190
Yo mama so ugly she got beat up by her imaginary friends

191
Yo Mama so fat she gives herself group hugs!

192
yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 seconds.

193
yo mama’s teeth are so yellow that when she smiles traffic slows down.

194
yo mama’s teeth so yellow that when she smiles everyone sings, “i got sunshine on a cloudy day”…..

195
Yo mama is so fat that she needs a book mark to keep track of all her chin rolls!

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