Puppy Paddles Stupid Prank Gift
Fishing Joke 1
Bob is sitting on the ice all day fishing with no luck, not even a nibble. Cold and tired he is about to leave, when a guy walks up cuts a hole in the ice beside him, and starts pulling out fish as fast a he can drop his hook in the water. Bob can’t believe it, he yells over ” whats your secret?” “woogatkakeptewrwm” he answers back. “what did you say?” replies Bob. The man spits a large ball of worms on the ice and says to Bob, ” you have to keep your worms warm”.
Fishing Joke 2
If you re fishing on ice, you should never tell a joke on ice. WHY??? The ice will crack up!
Fishing Joke 3
Q:what do you catch when you go ice fishing A:a cold
Fishing Joke 4
Q:what did the fish say when he hit the concrete wall? A:Damn
Fishing Joke 5
It was well known that a certain lake was very poor for fishing up north, but a game warden happened to notice that one guy kept coming home with his limit of fish on several occations. He asked the guy: “How is it that you are catching fish out of that lake when no one else can?” The guy replied: “Well I am going back up there tommorow, why don’t you come along?” And, so the warden did. They were in the boat when the fisherman reached over and lit a stick of dynamite and then tossed it overboard. BOOM!!! There were fish floating to the surface all over! The game warden freaked out, and said: “You can’t do that! That’s illeagal!” The fisherman reached over and lit another stick and said: “Are you going to fish, or talk?”
Fishing Joke 6
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea – one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, “I m bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn’t have any worries about being eaten…”
Fishing Joke 7
Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, “I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!” “That bad, huh” “She did everything wrong! She did everything wrong! She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up in the boat, baited the hook wrong, used the wrong lures and WORST of all she caught more fish than me!”
Fishing Joke 8
A man was stopped by a game-warden in Northern Algonquin Park recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing The game warden asked the man, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?” The man replied to the game warden, “No, sir. These are my pet fish.” “Pet fish?!” the warden replied. “Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home.” “That’s a bunch of hooey! Fish can’t do that!” The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, “Here, I ll show you. It really works.” “O.K. I’ve GOT to see this!” The game warden was curious. The man poured the fish in to the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, “Well?” “Well, what?” the man respond ed. “When are you going to call them back?” the game warden prompted. “Call who back?” the man asked. “The FISH” “What fish?” the man asked.
Fishing Joke 9
The fishing season hasn’t opened and a fisherman who doesn’t have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks “Any luck?” “Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday” he boasts. “Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?” asks the stranger. “Nope.” “Well, meet the new game warden.” “Oh,” gulped the fisherman. “Well, do you know who I am?” “Nope”. “Meet the biggest liar in the state.”
Fishing Joke 10
One day, two guys Joe and Bob were out fishing. A funeral service passes over the bridge they re fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by. Joe then said “Gee Bob, I didn’t know you had it in you!” Bob then replies ” It’s the least I could do. After all I was married to her for 30 years.”
Fishing Joke 11
Two blondes rented a fishing boat, and were having a great day catching fish. The first blonde said “This is such a great spot, we need to mark it so we can come back.” The second blonde proceeded to put a mark on the side of the boat. The first blonde asked “What are you doing?” The second blonde replied “Marking the spot.” “Don’t be stupid” the first blonde said. “What if we don’t get the same boat next time?”
Fishing Joke 12
Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms. Two other Irishmen walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky fishermen and ask ” how did you catch those ?” Well its like this! Michael here holds my legs over the bridge, and I grab the salmon as they swim up the river. We got four salmon A great days fishing! So the fishless pair look at each other and agree to give it a try. They get to the bridge and Sean calls to his friend “hold my legs now Paddy”. Well he is hanging there upside down for thirty minutes when he suddenly cries.. “pull me up, pull me up!!” Paddy asks ” do you have a fish Sean?”………… No replies Sean, “there’s a bloody train coming!!!!!!!!”
Fishing Joke 13
Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ran out of bait. The first priest got up and walk across the water to get some more bait. After 2 hours they ran out of bait again and the second priest said he would go get more bait…so he got up and walk across the water. After 3 hours of fishing they ran out of bait again and the third priest said he would get more bait. So he stepped out of the boat and went straight to the bottom. The first priest turned to the second priest and asked, “Should we have told him where the rocks were? ”
Fishing Joke 14
An Irish priest loved to fly fish, it was an obsession of his. So far this year the weather had been so bad that he hadn’t had a chance to get his beloved wadders on and his favourite flies out of their box Strangly though, every Sunday the weather had been good, but of course Sunday is the day he has to go to work. The weather forcast was good again for the coming Sunday so he called a fellow priest claiming to have lost his voice and be in bed with the flu. He asked him to take over his sermon. The fly fishing priest drove fifty miles to a river near the coast so that no one would recognise him. An angel up in Heaven was keeping watch and saw what the priest was doing. He told God who agreed that he would do something about it. With the first cast of his line a huge fish mouth gulped down the fly. For over an hour the priest ran up and down the river bank fighting the fish. At the end when he finally landed the monster size fish it turned out to be a world record Salmon. Confused the angel asked God, “Why did you let him catch that huge fish? I thought you were going to teach him a lesson.” God replied “I did. Who do you think he’s going to tell?”
Fishing Joke 15
Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: “double my I.Q” so the mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting shakespeare. Then the second fisherman said: “triple my I.Q.” and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn’t know existed. The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said “Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!” the fisherman said “yes” so the mermaid turned him into a woman
Fishing Joke 16
A small town Doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish. One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy. The farmer had nothing to weigh the baby with so the Doctor used his fishing scales. The baby weighed 22 lbs 10 oz..
Fishing Joke 17
A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the game warden. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell and hot on his heels came the game warden. After about a half mile, the guy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the game warden finally caught up to him. “Let’s see yer fishin license, boy!” the warden gasped. With that, the guy pulled out his wallet and gave the game warden a valid fishing license. “Well, son,” said the Game Warden. “You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don’t have to run from me if you have a valid license!” “Yes sir,” replied the young feller. “But my friend back there, well, he don’t have one…”
Fishing Joke 18
Heard the one about the three blondes that went ice fishing and didn’t catch anything? By the time they cut a hole big enough for the boat to fit in it was time to go home.
Fishing Joke 19
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, “There are no fish down there.” He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there.” He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there.” He looked up into the sky and asked, “God, is that you?” “No, you idiot,” the voice said, “it’s the rink manager.”
Fishing Joke 20
Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
Fishing Joke 21
There was a salmon fisherman who was out in the ocean fishing when his boat sank. He was lucky enough to make to a deserted island where he had to survive on what he could find. When the Coastguard eventually found him, the leader noticed there was a fire pit with California Condor feathers all around. He went over to the fisherman and said, “You know, it’s illegal to kill a California Condor, I m afraid I m going to have to arrest you.” The fisherman protested for some time saying that he killed it because he was going to starve but eventually he calmed down. “Out of curiosity” the coastguard asked, “What did it taste like?” The fisherman replied, ” Well, it was kind of a mix between a snowy owl and a bald eagle.”
Fishing Joke 22
A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope. “That’s what I like to see,” said the priest, “A man helping his fellow man.” As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, “Well, he sure doesn’t know the first thing about shark fishing.”
Fishing Joke 23
Q. Where does a fish keep his money A. In the River Bank!
Fishing Joke 24
Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend? asked Jane’s best friend. “Why shouldn’t I?” said Jane. “Well, maybe he is having an affair?” “No way” said Jane “he never returns with any fish…”
Fishing Joke 25
A guy rings his boss and says “I can’t come to work today The boss asks why and the guy says “it’s my eyes.” “What’s wrong with your eyes?” asks the boss. “I just can’t see myself coming to work, so I m going fishing instead…”
Fishing Joke 26
What”s the biggest fish you ever caught? “That would be the one that measured fourteen inches….” “That’s not so big!” “Between the eyes?”
Fishing Joke 27
Henry’s son, David, burst into the house, crying. His mother asked him what the problem was. “Daddy and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while he was reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away.” “Now come on, David,” his mother said, “a big boy like you shouldn’t be crying about an accident like that. You should have just laughed it off.” “But that’s just what I did, mommy.”
Fishing Joke 28
I was given the ultimatum 3 weeks ago. She said “it’s me or your fishing.” Gee I miss her.
Fishing Joke 29
I didn”t see you in church last Sunday, Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead. “That’s not true, vicar. And I’ve got the fish to prove it!”
Fishing Joke 30
I caught a twenty pound salmon last week. “Were there any witnesses?” “There sure were. If there hadn’t been, it would have been forty pounds.”
Fishing Joke 31
Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish. Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you. Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won’t make him truthful.
Fishing Joke 32
Q. What is the difference between a fish and a piano? A. You can’t tuna fish.
Fishing Joke 33
How much fishing tackle can a man accumulate before his wife throws him out? I don’t know the answer but I think I m nearly there.
Fishing Joke 34
Q. Where do fish sleep? A. In a river bed
Fishing Joke 35
What do you call a deaf fishing boat captain? Anything you like, he can’t hear you.
Fishing Joke 36
I was glad when one fish got away. There just wasn’t room in the boat for both of us!
Fishing Joke 37
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, “My wife is drowning and I can’t swim. Please save her. I ll give you a hundred dollars.” The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, “Okay, where’s my hundred dollars?” The man said, “Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law.” The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, “Just my luck. How much do I owe you?”
Fishing Joke 38
Q: What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back not catching anything. A: Three Men And A Baby
Fishing Joke 39
One man’s hobby was fishing, he spent all his weekends near the river or lake, paying no attention to weather. One Sunday, early in the morning, he went to the river, as usual. It was cold and raining, and he decided to return back to his house. He came in, went to his bedroom, undressed and laid near his wife. “What a terrible weather today, honey.” he said to her. “Yes. And my idiot went fishing!”
Fishing Joke 40
What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much ? A beer-a-cuda !
Fishing Joke 41
Which fish can perform operations ? A Sturgeon !
Fishing Joke 42
What fish goes up the river at 100mph ? A motor pike !
Fishing Joke 43
Where do fish wash ? In a river basin !
Fishing Joke 44
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,”Are there any gators around here?!” “Naw,” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years!” “Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,”How d you get rid of the gators?” “We didn’t do nothin ,” the beachcomber said. “The sharks got em.”
Fishing Joke 45
Many years ago, a fisherman’s wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children very much, but couldn’t think of what to name their children. Finally, after several days, the fisherman said, “Let’s not decide on names right now. If we wait a little while, the names will simply occur to us.” After several weeks had passed, the fisherman and his wife noticed a peculiar fact. When left alone, one of the boys would also turn towards the sea, while the other boy would face inland. It didn’t matter which way the parents positioned the children, the same child always faced the same direction. “Let’s call the boys Towards and Away,” suggested the fisherman. His wife agreed, and from that point on, the boys were simply known as Towards and Away. The years passed and the lads grew tall and strong. The day came when the aging fisherman said to his sons, “Boys, it is time that learned how to make a living from the sea.” They provisioned their ship, said their goodbyes, and set sail for a three month voyage. The three months passed quickly for the fisherman’s wife, yet the ship had not returned. Another three months passed, and still no ship. Three whole years passed before the greiving woman saw a lone man walking towards her house. She recognized him as her husband. “My goodness! What has happened to my darling boys?” she cried. The ragged fisherman began to tell his story: “We were just barely one whole day out to see when Towards hooked into a great fish. Towards fought long and hard, but the fish was more than his equal. For a whole week they wrestled upon the waves without either of them letting up. Yet eventually the great fish started to win the battle, and Towards was pulled over the side of our ship. He was swallowed whole, and we never saw either of them again.” “Oh dear, that must have been terrible! What a huge fish that must of been!” “Yes, it was, but you should have seen the one that got Away….”
Fishing Joke 46
A fisherman returned to shore with a giant marlin that was bigger and heavier than he. On the way to the cleaning shed, he ran into a second fisherman who had a stringer with a dozen baby minnows. The second fisherman looked at the marlin, turned to the first fisherman and said, ” Only caught one, eh?”
Fishing Joke 47
Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet. As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet. Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in. Remarked one of the fisherman, “That’s the first time I’ve ever seen carp-to-carp walleting.”
Fishing Joke 48
Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment – the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they don’t catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they re driving home they re really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, “Do you realise that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?” The other guy says, “Wow! Then it’s a good thing we didn’t catch any more!”
Fishing Joke 49
Two young men were out in the woods on a camping trip, when the came upon this great trout brook. They stayed there all day, enjoying the fishing, which was super. At the end of the day, knowing that they would be graduating from college soon, they vowed that they would meet, in twenty years, at the same place and renew the experience. Twenty years later, they met and traveled to a spot near where they had been years before. They walked into the woods and before long came upon a brook. One of the men said to the other, “This is the place!”. The other replied, “No, it’s not!”. The first man said, “Yes, I do recognize the clover growing on the bank on the other side. To which the other man replied, “Silly, you can’t tell a brook by it’s clover.”
Fishing Joke 50
A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, “How does this boat float? The father replied, “Don’t rightly know son.” A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, “How do fish breath underwater?” Once again the father replied, “Don’t rightly know son.” A little later the boy asked his father, “Why is the sky blue?” Again, the father repied. “Don’t rightly know son.” Finally, the boy asked his father, “Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?” The father replied, “Of course not, you don’t ask questions, you never learn nothin .”
Fishing Joke 51
Three guys were fishing in a lake one day, when an angel appeared in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked the angel humbly, “I’ve suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam War … Could you help me?” “Of course,” the angel said, and when he touched the man’s back, the man felt relief for the first time in years. The second guy who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving. He asked if the angel could do anything about his poor eyesight. The angel smiled, removed the man’s glasses and tossed them into the lake. When they hit the water, the man’s eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly. When the angel turned to the third guy, the guy put his hands out defensively — “Don’t touch me!” he cried, “I m on a disability pension.”
Fishing Joke 52
One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish. About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family. “You aren’t going to catch many fish that way,” said the businessman to the fisherman, “you should be working rather than lying on the beach!” The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, “And what will my reward be?” “Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!” was the businessman’s answer. “And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman, still smiling. The businessman replied, “You will make money and you ll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish!” “And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman again. The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman’s questions. “You can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!” he said. “And then what will my reward be?” repeated the fisherman. The businessman was getting angry. “Don’t you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish for you!” Once again the fisherman asked, “And then what will my reward be?” The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, “Don’t you understand that you can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your day’s sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won’t have a care in the world!” The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, “And what do you think I m doing right now?”
Fishing Joke 53
MacAndrews was visiting his Irish cousin, O Bannon. While there he decided to do a bit of fishing. As he sat there on afternoon, his cousin walked by. “What are ye doing?” asked O Bannon. “Fishin ,” said MacAndrews. “Caught anything?” “Ach, nae a bite,” “What are ye usin fer bait?” “Worms” “Let me see it,” said O Bannon. MacAndrews lifted the line from the water and handed it to his cousin. O Bannon took out his flask of potcheen and dipped the worm in it. He handed it back to MacAndrews, who cast his line once more. As soon as the worm hit the water, his rod bent over double, the line screaming out. “Have ye got a bite?” asked O Bannon. “No!” shouted MacAndrews, fighting with the rod, “The worm’s got a salmon by the throat!”
Fishing Joke 54
How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb? One, but you should have seen the bulb, it must have been THIS big.
Fishing Joke 55
A man was fishing in the jungle. After a while another angler came to join him. “Have you had any bites?” asked the second man. “Yes, lots,” replied the first one, “but they were all mosquitoes.”
Fishing Joke 56
Retired colonel, talking of the good old days: Have you ever hunted bear? His grandson’s teacher: No, but I’ve been fishing in shorts.
Fishing Joke 57
An old lady saw a little boy with a fishing-rod over his shoulder and a jar of tadpoles in his hand walking through the park one Sunday. “Little boy,” she called, “don’t you know you shouldn’t go fishing on a Sunday?” “I m not going fishing, ma am,” he called back, “I m going home.”
Fishing Joke 58
The little kid sat on the side of the road with a fishing line down the drain. Feeling sorry for him, and wanting to humor him, a lady gave him 50 cents, and kindly asked “How many have you caught?” “You re the tenth this morning,” was the reply.
Fishing Joke 59
What kind of musical instrument can you use for fishing? The cast-a-net.
Fishing Joke 60
Tim once took his small cousin with him while he went fishing: When he returned, he was looking very fed up. “I ll never do that again,” he complained to his Dad. “Did she frighten off the fish?” enquired Dad. “No,” replied Tim. “She sat on the bank and ate all my maggots.”
Fishing Joke 61
What’s the difference between an angler and a dunce? One baits his hooks while the other hates his books.
Fishing Joke 62
Fisherman: What are you fishing for sonny? Boy: I m not fishing, I m drowning worms.
Fishing Joke 63
Q: How many anglers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Four, one to change the light bulb and three to brag about how big the old one was and about the one that they would have changed, but “It got away”
Fishing Joke 64
How many South Dakotans does it take to go ice fishing? Four. One to cut the hole in the ice, and three to push the boat through.
Fishing Joke 65
Lee: I just swallowed a fish bone! Counselor: Are you choking? Lee: No, I m serious!
Fishing Joke 66
George went fishing, but at the end of the day he had not caught one fish. On the way back to camp, he stopped at a fish store. I want to buy three trout, he said to the owner. But instead of putting them in a bag, throw them to me. Why should I do that? the owner asked. So I can tell everyone that I caught three fish!
Fishing Joke 67
Have you seen the new fishing website? No, it’s not online yet.
Fishing Joke 68
What is the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student? One baits his hook, the other hates his book.
Fishing Joke 69
What sort of net is useless for catching fish ? A football net !
Fishing Joke 70
What did Noah do while spending time on the ark ? Fished, but he didn’t catch much. He only had two worms !
Fishing Joke 71
Fishing season hasn’t opened and a fisherman who doesn’t have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks: “Any luck?” “Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday,” he boasts. “Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?” asks the stranger. “Nope.” “Well, meet the new game warden.” “Oh,” gulped the fisherman. “Well, do you know who I am?” “Nope.” “Meet the biggest liar in the state!”
Fishing Joke 72
When fish play football, who is the captain ? The team’s kipper !
Fishing Joke 73
How do fish go into business ? The start on a small scale !
Fishing Joke 74
What do you call a fish with no eyes ? Fish !
Fishing Joke 75
Why are fish so smart? They are always in schools!
Fishing Joke 76
Which fish go to heaven when they die ? Angelfish !
Fishing Joke 77
What bit of fish doesn’t make sense ? The piece of cod that passeth all understanding !
Fishing Joke 78
What kind of money do fishermen make ? Net profits !
Fishing Joke 79
What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird’s leg and a hand ? Birdsthigh fish fingers !
Fishing Joke 80
Two parrots are sitting on a perch. The first one says to the other “can you smell fish?”.
Fishing Joke 81
What TV game show do fish like best? Name that tuna!
Fishing Joke 82
What part of a fish weighs the most ? It’s scales !
Fishing Joke 83
What do you call a literary fish? Salmon Rushdie!
Fishing Joke 84
What fish do road-menders use ? Pneumatic krill !
Fishing Joke 85
What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings ? A fish tank !
Fishing Joke 86
Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea ? Jack the kipper !
Fishing Joke 87
What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend ? Your plaice or mine !
Fishing Joke 88
Why is a fish easy to weigh ? Because it has its own scales !
Fishing Joke 89
What did the sardine call the submarine ? A can of people !
Fishing Joke 90
Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ? Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside !
Fishing Joke 91
Why do penguins eat fish? Because donuts get soggy before they can catch them.
Fishing Joke 92
Where do fish come from? Finland!
Fishing Joke 93
Which fish dresses the best? The Swordfish – It always looks sharp!
Fishing Joke 94
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout ? Monkfish !
Fishing Joke 95
What kind of fish will help you hear better ? A herring aid !
Fishing Joke 96
What do naked fish play with ? Bare-a-cudas !
Fishing Joke 97
Why are fish cleverer than humans? Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?
Fishing Joke 98
What did the fish do when his piano sounded odd? He called the piano tuna!
Fishing Joke 99
Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear ? Because they have electric eels !
Fishing Joke 100
What was the name of Tom Sawyer’s fish? Huckleberry Fin!
Fishing Joke 101
Why are gold fish orange ? The water makes them rusty !
Fishing Joke 102
What will santa bring your fish this christmas? A scale letrix!
Fishing Joke 103
What was the Tsar of Russia’s favorite fish ? Tsardines !
Fishing Joke 104
What do romantic fish sing to each other? Salmon-chanted evening !
Fishing Joke 105
What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can’t refuse ? The Codfather !
Fishing Joke 106
What’s a sea serpent’s favourite meal? Fish and ships!
Fishing Joke 107
Why are fish so gullible? They fall for things hook, line and sinker!
Fishing Joke 108
How do you communicate with a fish? You drop it a line!
Fishing Joke 109
What kind of fish is useful in freezing weather ? Skate !
Fishing Joke 110
Where are most fish found ? Between the head and the tail !
Fishing Joke 111
What fish sounds like a telephone? Herring, herring…herring, herring…herring, herring.
Fishing Joke 112
How do you tune a fish? With its scales!
Fishing Joke 113
What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment ? A flat fish !
Fishing Joke 114
What’s the best way to catch a fish? Have someone throw it at you.
Fishing Joke 115
How did the fish’s tail get stuck in the anchor chain? It was just a fluke!
Fishing Joke 116
Why are fish no good at tennis? They don’t like to get too close to the net!
Fishing Joke 117
What do you call a man with a large flatfish on his head? Ray!
Fishing Joke 118
How do you post a fish? You send it COD … or first bass mail
Fishing Joke 119
Where do you go to meet the best fish? It doesn’t matter – any old plaice will do.
Fishing Joke 120
What kind of a fish does your Parrot sit on? A Perch!
Fishing Joke 121
Why should you use six hooks on your fishing line? eFISHancy!
Fishing Joke 122
What is a knight’s favourite fish? A swordfish!
Fishing Joke 123
What fish is best to have in a boat? A Sailfish.
Fishing Joke 124
How do you get around fast on the bottom of the sea? Skates!
Fishing Joke 125
How do the fish get to school ? By octobus !
Fishing Joke 126
What fish make the best sandwich? A peanut butter and jellyfish
Fishing Joke 127
To whom do fish go to borrow money ? The loan shark !
Fishing Joke 128
What fish only swims at night ? A starfish !
Fishing Joke 129
What do dirty fish read? Prawno Magazines!
Fishing Joke 130
Why men like to fishing so much? They finally found something as smart as them to talk to.
Fishing Joke 131
Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat. Then he went about his fishing. An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth…
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