Friday, January 28, 2011

Joke of the day management course

In a recent software engineering management course in the United States received the participants a difficult question to answer. "If you had an aircraft climbed and discovered that your team of programmers for flight control software was responsible as many of you immediately get off would?"

Under the subsequent forest of hands raised, only a man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite happy to remain aboard.

With his team software he said the aircraft unlikely even taxi as far as the start and runway was let alone undress.


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Thursday, January 27, 2011

Can a 'redneck of ship' if be

You can be a 'redneck of ship' if all your male ancestors in the civil war on the side of the Confederate fought.

You can be a 'redneck of ship' If your sister wives of Marines organization wants to join.

Be a 'redneck of ship' when the smell of dead calls make you wake up.

Might be a redneck of ship ', when if your D.I. says "The Crucible women include Navy" and you out screaming, "Yeee doggies, it be Lovin' on the battlefield tonight."

Be a 'redneck of ship' when applied on board a naval task force Iraq heading and one turn young woman Navy Ensign on and shout out "CHARGE."

Can be a 'redneck of ship', when if not white female marine cpl. NYC threatens to occur just made your ass for the sexual advances and you answers, "Wow, cause is it exactly like its older half-sister with my Nutin as a good ass kickin' before sex lickin begins."

Be a 'redneck of ship' If you think a S & M Club sex with Momma means.

Might be a redneck of ship ' when talking about ALL the women call "Darling."

You can be a 'redneck of ship' If you think girls from Nashville, Gatorsburg and Louisville city.

You can be a 'redneck of ship' if the waitress at the local choke and puke calls you a "filthy beast".

Can be a 'redneck of ship', when your D.I. says that to trim the hair out of your nose.

Can be a 'redneck of ship', when your older brother section 8 of the army for masturbate on the parade field.

Can be a 'redneck of ship', when your the reason of the hospital maternity ward, that the character in the birth room reading put up "emergency have sex on this bed."

Can be a 'redneck of ship', when your MOM and sister to comb the hair under their arms.

Be a 'redneck of ship' If you go to the Zoo, delete your pants, take a shit and throw it on the caged gorillas.

Be a 'redneck of ship', when women tell California, keep "you drag your ankles", and have no idea what the hell your talking about.

Can be a 'redneck of ship', when you brought the junior Miss high school Prom Queen to your high school prom night.

You can be a 'redneck of ship' If your classes at the high school often were aborted because the path to the rest area was flooded.

A 'redneck of ship' be if you were really a head and shoulders, which above all the rest of the children in school, this is of course because you'd repeat the first class 3 times.


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Joke of the day - Cinderella's three wishes

Cinderella is now almost 70 years old. After a full life with the now dead sat Prince, you like on your rocking chair to watch their veranda with a cat named Gizmo for camaraderie world go by.

A sunny afternoon appeared out of nowhere, the good fairy. Cinderella said "Good fee, what are you doing here after all these years?" The good fairy responds "Well Cinderella, because you have lived a good, healthy life since we last met, I decided to give you 3 wishes." "There is something for which your heart still longs?"

Cinderella is amazed, overjoyed and after some thoughtful consideration and almost under your breath your first wish expressed. "I wish, I was rich incomprehensible." Immediately your rocking chair was transformed into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned. Cinderella says "Oh fairy godmother thank!" The good fairy replied "It's the least I can do." "What is your second wish?" Cinderella looked at your frail body and said: "I wish I was young and full of beauty of youth." At once, requested your desire, was reality and their beautiful youthful visage had returned. Cinderella felt stirrings in her, that had since dormant and long forgotten strength and vitality began years of course through their souls. Then said the fairy godmother again "have one more wish what you have?" Cinderella looked over to Gizmo, who now tremble in the corner with fear was. "I wish for you, my old cat, Gizmo, to turn into a beautiful and handsome young man." Magically, undertook Gizmo in his Biologicial make up, suddenly so fundamental a change that, if he Stoof he was a boy before it, as beautiful as the world had ever seen you, so in fact, that birds which thus fall fair started, from the sky at his feet.

The good fairy said "Happy birthday Cinderella!" "Enjoy your new life." She disappeared with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity. Gizmo and Cinderella's eyes looked for a few moments. Sat Cinderella, breathless, boy looked at the breathtakingly perfect had ever seen.

Then bent Gizmo went on Cinderella, who was banned in your rocking chair, and held so much you close his muscular arms.He close to your ear and into your ear, as whispered breathed, blowing your golden hair with his warm breath, "I bet you regret choppy with my balls now, huh?"


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Pinocchio and splinters


Barbed wire toilet paper stupid prank gift

One day Pinocchio came to Gepetto with a problem.

"Every time, when I have sex with my girlfriend, splitter gets you." "What can I do?"


"You have tried sandpaper?" Pinocchio had not, so he went to try it.


Gepetto "Pinnochio," said a few weeks later. "How is the problem work out with your"


"Girlfriend?" said Pinnochio. "Who needs a friend if you sand paper?"


Permalink Pinocchio and splinters


Knock knock. Who is there? Boo. Boo who? I have not WAN don't to make wines. Knock knock! Who is there? Yo momma. Yo momma, who? Seriously, it's yo momma, open the damn door! Knock knock! Who is there? ...


1 A brunette and a blonde and a redhead all funny adult joke in the fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits? The blonde because 18. Funny adult joke 2 A man noticed that his credit card...


Dirty joke 1 an old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on the shoulder, and ask for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who will be...


Dog joke 1 A man took his dog to the veterinary surgeons and asked the vet to remove the dogs tail completely. The veterinarian confused said "Why me to do?" the...


Police joke 1 the Boston taxi driver saved in the stationary fruit stall and within seconds, which he had a policeman next to him. "Name?" "Brendan O Connor." "Same as mine." "Where are you?" "County..."



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Joke of the day - random rants

Random rants

I'm kinda bored, sitting here at my computer with nothing really to do. I'm I kindof a bad mood, so maybe only about a few things, tick rant away will be. Do you have a problem with that?

Tattoo. After a tattoo with Chinese characters in it not make spiritual. It's about the leap from your ass. And it translates "Beef with broccoli." The last time that were nothing spiritual fact, God pray were not pregnant. You are not spiritual. You are only high.

Wal-Mart. I'm not the checkout! By the time I get done, my friggen map, enter my PIN number, press "Enter", check the amount, decision, no, I will not cash-back and hit "Enter" again push the child, who "is" me be ringing up it is eating my Snickers bar. Paper? Plastic? I have no time. I have just mentioned were four to do clean up on aisle!

Baseball cards. You know how I gathered kid. Hell, I think every child baseball cards collects. The cards represent your heroes, your idols, people that you wanted to be raised as when. My problem is not with kids... it's adults. Listen, if you're a grown man, not you collect cards are to collect images of men. This is gay.

Old people. Stop messing with you. Aim is a newly designed pill bottle introduction, which is square, with a major label. And the top is now down. And by the time GRAMPS numbers as it will open his ass in the morgue. Congratulations target, you solved the social security crisis.

Women and your eyebrows. What's the deal here? Why are you obsessed, soooo so thin, pointed, curved, cant you or whatever. Men don't care. Do you have two Eybrows? Great. Let's get it on!

Know what other ticks me off? People who read leave my stuff and no comment. I mean damn, this site gets tons of unique visitors per day and no comments. What the hell? How about's let me know what ticks you off. Mmmmk. thanks.


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