A Tankman on a tank driving test drove his tank in a ditch by oversight. The next day he received unit assignment to an antitank mines.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Joke of the day accountant joke
Two accountants are in a bank when armed robbers in burst. While some of the robbers take money from the teller, another line customers including the accountant against a wall and go take their wallets, watches, etc.. The number is two hand during this accountant number one jams in accountants. Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, "what is this?", the accountant number one responds, "it's that $50 I owe you."
Joke of the day-blonde jokes
Question: Why eat not blondes Jello?
A. you can not find out how to get two cups of water in these small packages.
Question: What is SCREECH, SHRIEK, VROOM, VROOM, SHRIEK, the VROOM?
A. follow a blonde flashing red light.
Question: Why spots there are lipstick on the steering wheel after a blonde driving a car?
A. because the Horn blows!
Q. Why is a blonde as a door knob?
A. because everyone gets a turn.
Q. Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A. because it is placed all over the country.
Joke of the day - if airlines paint sold
IF PAINTING SOLD AIRLINES...
Client: Hallo.Wie much is your color?
Schreiber: Well, Sir, that all depends quite a lot of things.
Customer: You can give me a guess? an average price is there?
Schreiber: Our lowest price is $12 per gallon, and we have 60 different prices up to $200 per gallon.
Customer: What is the difference in color?
Schreiber: Oh, no difference there; it is all the same color.
Customer: Well, then, some of that $12-I would like to paint.
Schreiber: When do you using color intend?
Customer: I want tomorrow to malen.Es my day is out.
Secretary: Mr, is the colour for tomorrow the $200-color.
Client: If I would have to the $12-to get to paint color?
Schreiber: You should start very late at night in about 3 weeks. But you have to agree, before Friday of this week start to painting and still painting at least until Sunday.
Client: You have to be * & % ^ # @ * kidding!
Schreiber: I check and see if we have any color.
Client: Have shelves full of color! I can see it!
Schreiber: But it doesn't mean that we paint available haben.Wir sell only a certain number of gallons on any given weekend.Oh, and by the way, the price per gallon went to $16.Wir have no more $12-paint.
Client: the price Ching up as we were talking about?
Schreiber: Yes, Sir.Wir change rates and rules hundreds of times a day and since you still not actually went from memory with your color yet, we decided to change.I suggest that you buy your color as soon as possible.How many gallons would you?
Customer: Well, maybe five Gallonen.stellen you, that six, so I have enough.
Schreiber: Oh no, Sir, you do not.If you buy paint and do not use there are sanctions and possible recovery of the color you may already have.
Customer: What?
Schreiber: We can sell enough paint your kitchen, bathroom, corridor and North do bedroom, but to stop painting before you do the bedroom, lose your remaining gallons of paint.
Customer: What is it important whether I use all the color?I already paid you!
Schreiber: We make plans based on the idea, that all our paint used, do not you every Tropfen.Wenn, us all sorts of problems.
Client: That's crazy! I suppose, something terrible happens if I up to Saturday night to keep painting!
Schreiber: Oh yes! every gallon you have bought, automatically is the $200-color.
Client: But what are all these "Paint on sale of $10 per litre" characters?
Schreiber: Well, that's for our budget malen.Es $5 half gallon can only half Gallonen.Ein is half leveling to complete second half gallon room a room is $20.Keiner of doses have labels, some are empty and there are no refunds on the empty cans.
Client: to hell with that! I'm going to buy, what I need somewhere else!
Schreiber: I don't think so, Sir.Sie can paint for your bathroom and bedroom, and potentially buy your kitchen and dining room of someone else, but you won't be able to paint your connecting Hall and stairs by anyone, but I would remind uns.Und, Sir, that if to paint in one direction only, it will be $300 per gallon.
Customer: I thought, your most expensive paint was $200!
Schreiber: this is when you paint to the room to the point at which started wurde.Ein corridor is different.
Client: And if I paint $200 for the Hall but only paint buy in one direction, will retain the remaining color.
Schreiber: No, we charge you extra fee plus the difference on your next gallons of paint verwenden.Aber I think you get it now, Sir.
Customer: You are crazy!
Schreiber: Thanks for the painting with United.
Monday, November 22, 2010
MG RATTLE
The defender of position were in desperate in view the angry attacks by the determined superior enemy. All above, had the defenders of the ammunition out. Then the only surviving Sergeant had a brilliant idea: "Hey, men, shake your heads." "The enemy can the rattle for bursts of machine gun fire take!"
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